Letting Go
by Heath07
Summary: (slash undertones) A short fic about officer Capelli. Second person POV.


  
  


Title: Letting Go 

Rating: PG -slash undertones

Summary: Capelli is a good cop and an even better dirty cop. 

Disclaimer: I don't own anything etc...  
  
Notes: Thank you Mala for pointing that big error out to me. I changed Louis to Lorenzo. Man, I'm such an idiot, I don't know what I was thinking. Probably not enough sleep. lol However, Elizabeth was shot, though. It wasn't recent, but it did happen. It was right after the warehouse bombing, I think. I believe it was Zander who shot her when he was wrestling Jason for a gun. It was only a flesh wound, but I embellished a little. ;) Thanks again. 

Letting Go

______________

All you have to do is let go. Let the darkness claim you. Let your natural instincts come out.   
  


You cock your gun over Nikolas' prone body and you think to yourself, idly, how peaceful he looks. You wonder if you'll ever find that kind of peace. If you'll ever find something that makes you sleep so sound and even as you think it, you know there is something...someone that pacifies your soul, even if you can't speak it.  
  


You grew up in a house full of cops. Your father, your uncles and your grandfather all wore the uniform proudly. You entered the academy the same year as your older brother and your family couldn't have been any prouder.

You went through the motions. Graduated the top of your class and settled in at the PCPD.  
  


The truth was, it didn't inspire pride like they said it should. For a while it helped you get laid. Women love to touch a loaded gun. After a while the novelty wore off though and you were back to the bar scene in your plain clothes, slugging back beer after beer and scouring the crowd for someone that could make you feel alive.  
  


People looked past you. They knew who you were; that you could arrest them at any given moment and make their life hell. It's isolating, being a cop. No one would think that, but people aren't natural with you. They can't joke and be free because there is always tension when you're around.   
  


The cops around you are predictable. Lonely, little men that spend their lives eating jelly doughnuts and complaining about chest pains and paperwork.   
  


They're human. And they'd all take a bribe given the right circumstances. Except, maybe, Mac. He still harbours some semblance of morality and the need to do the 'right' thing.  
  


You were tired of doing the noble thing. Tired of living by such strict, choking rules. Then you met your mentor. And you found that exhilarating piece of awareness that you'd been missing for so long.  
  


Lorenzo Alcazar might be flesh and bone but there is something alien in his blood. Something that makes him shine. Something that makes you feel like you're living instead of just surviving.   
  


Lucky looks at you like you could be his hero. He looks to you for praise. How ironic is that? He spent his life on the wrong side of the law and now he wants you to be his guide to clean living. His old man would love that.   
  


Damn kid.   
  


You want to tell him he had it right the first time. That running from the law is far more rewarding than any arrest you've ever made.   
  


He'll learn soon enough...after you kill his brother.  
  


And so you're poised over the prince and you can't seem to make your finger pull the trigger. You don't realize you're shaking until the metal of the gun hits your watch and clangs with sympathy.   
  


You've never shot a man before. In action you've only pulled your gun a few times and only fired your weapon once.   
  


The sight of blood doesn't bother you. You carried Elizabeth Webber through the streets with a bullet in her arm and didn't even flinch.   
  


You've seen people kill. You've watched them die. It didn't look this hard.   
  


All you have to do is let go.   
  


You're going to do it.   
  


You're going to shoot him.  
  


You're going to let go.  
  


You'll do it for Alcazar.   
  


You'll make him proud.  
  


______

end.


End file.
